1. Get in your car, take a deep breath, and call upon your inner aggression.
2. Talk yourself into anger. It is important that you be pissed off at everyone and everything.
3. Remember, you are the only car on the road that matters.
4. Pull off as fast and recklessly as you possibly can. If there are children, animals or old people near, become more reckless and aggressive.
5. Under no circumstances do you allow anyone to get in front of you. If a driver's blinker is on so that he/she can move into your lane, speed up to make sure this doesn't happen.
6. If another driver's choice is either to get into your lane or run into something, remember that the world is overpopulated and you are contributing to population control by allowing the other driver to crash and die.
7. If a driver cuts in front of you, speed up, go around him/her and create a situation that should almost certainly lead to a car accident and, with any luck, a fatal crash. That driver had no right to get into your lane and he did it because he knows you are a pussy and you won't do anything about it.
8. Get particularly pissed off and aggressive at any driver over 40 years old.
9. Speed up at crosswalks so that you have to stop suddenly.
10. And finally... if you are driving crazily or towing another car using a small child's jump rope, and you see a cop giving some other driver a citation, don't worry nor fret. The cops are only concerned with writing the ticket and you can get away with whatever you are doing. Also, make sure to pick up your mobile and text someone as you pass the cops.