It is interesting to see how life creates situations for growth. I do not necessarily notice at the time it is for growth, but in the aftermath, I see that I have indeed grown.
My previous entry described my anger at a neighbor. The situation since that writing has gone from bad to worse to better than I thought it could be. My part in it was a simple willingness to see my part in the disagreement. Once that became clear, the situation took a turn for the better.
What I was blind to was the simple fact that I had made no real effort to be a good neighbor to this lady. As I look back, I never really liked her ... I tolerated her. That, in a word, is arrogance. The very thing I accused her of is the thing for which I am guilty. All I could feel at the time of the disagreement was that I was right and she was wrong. Everyone in the vicinity realized she was a difficult person, but none of them (to my knowledge) used very harsh words to her face as I did. It is not that I do not still think she is an individual with many issues that need attention, it is that now I have made the decision to face my issues. Once I did that, my anger at her subsided tremendously and I now see a sick lady who needs understanding and patience ... just as I do.
As I was seething in anger a few days ago, I was convinced that the close proximity in which Poles (and Europeans in general) live is the root of the problem. I could not deal with this "closeness". I am seeing that this type of living requires me to be all the things I aspire to be: patient, tolerant, loving, accepting, willing to change and adapt. It has been a most energizing experience as I see that this is so good for me and those I am around. I do not have to spread my poison of anxiety and frustration ... I can spead a sense of good. This always feels better.