Each day as I travel through Warsaw and particularly the central train station, I have a voice in my head that has a constant chatter. It wants to know if I fit in here. It wants to know if I feel at home here. I often get a very uncomfortable feeling as I see people and they see me. I have observed giggles and laughs that I think are directed at me. I often have to remind myself that I am not the center of the universe and these people are not necessarily looking or talking about me. I cannot help but stand out in the crowd ... however, I see various people look and stare. I have written about this before, but I am seeing/feeling it even stronger over the past few weeks. The staring is sometimes angering and I want to say "Can I help you?" or, even worse, "What the f#@k are you looking at?!!". This often happens on bad days and, thank God, very rarely.
Where am I going with this? I want the voice to stop. Only I can stop it. Perhaps it is time to stare back or even ask, "Do you know me?". Maybe I might strike up a conversation and make a friend or two and begin to let go of this feeling of being different.